rite at this moment, i don feel rite at all.. not physically but emotionall n mentally... dunno wat's wrong with mi... yea.... suddenly i just feel like crying... the tears horx. alreay well up to my eyes liao lorx.. i think my mind just wandered off somewhere... subconcious mind... pls don do that again.. i dont want it to happen... wanted to sms my friend to talk abt it... but before pressing the send button, i cancelled it. cos even if i sent that msg, wat's ther to talk abt? i oso dunno myself... i was seriously thinking of getting a counsellor for myself. but then even if i get 1, wat's there to talk abt? i oso dunno... ok pplz.. seriously i'm not mentally n emotionally stable rite now.. F***... kkz... cant cry cos mother in the room, sis in the room... haha.... ltr when they slp then i see how bahx... maybe if i tear when i go to slp, i may feel lighter by tmr.. so that i can anticipate tmr's movie marathon.. but then i think horx. eveything's got to do with that person.... haix... dunno which person but that person... i oso dunno.. i've been eating chocolate the whole freaking day and it cant still cheer mi up... what's up this the best remedy for unhappiness/sadness is chocolate... fake...kkz... better go play game n kepe my mind occupied... ooo...
i think i noe why i so tired liao... cos when i finish doing up their presents late into the nite, i will still go onto wifi while i'm on bed... then will be online for quite a few hours to make sure my mind is occupied... cos i will tend to anyhow think... then jialat if i think of other things n be emotionally n mentally unstable... so i rather go wifi n read some fanfics... till i'm too tired to even hold the phone up will i turn off the wifi n go to slp... by that time i think some ppl are starting to wake up liao.. to prepare for their work... while i'm abt to go to slp... haha... nowadays a bit better onli lorx... slp abit earlier cos the slping late schedule has finally taken its toll on mi... yea!!! even if i blog n pour my hearts out, i dont feel lighter less emotional or wat so ever... it's still the same!!!! freak!!!! even my anime n manga cant help mi liao.. wat to do!!!!!
so i'm going to go out early tmr to vivo... go play arcade... $5 onli!!! like i've told syidah abt it... onli $5 on arcade n no more... then the rest is window shopping.. n window shopping or watch other ppl play... yup!!!shall keep my mind occupied!!!!!!!!
think i'm on the edge of breaking down... yea ppl :D for no freaking reason.. maybe there is larx.. but wateva.... haha... i dunno the reason oso.. haha.... no more chocolates!!!! it not cant go genting... T.T